Unstable

Come and go, come and go.

I dance as the waves by the sea.

But the pain in my heart goes to show

That it’s not how you want it to be.

 

Thoughts that blur all good reasons away,

Feelings that are just begging to stay

They’ve been like bugs clawing under my skin

And my heart is screaming within.

 

But as the sun shines bright today

Delight in thee will pave the way

A fresh new light to spark anew

A life that fully trusts in you

I’m back in Ithaca

So it’s my first morning here in Ithaca and I decided to blog about my staycation— it’s what I like to call my alone times in the hotel whenever I’m in a work-related trip out of the country. 😀

On my first morning, I went for a walk to buy brunch from a nearby pizza place 😀

A post shared by Angel Raquel (@angelmanica) on

I took the pizza back to my room and ate while watching andymetsonia videos ^_^

Displaying P_20170319_024519_BF.jpg

I wanted to share photos of my room which will be my home for the next 2 weeks but I realized that I can’t take pictures yet since it’s all messed up XD But I did make a room tour vid last night which I shared “privately” on my channel so that’s what I’m sharing instead :))

I’m just so thankful to have been blessed by opportunities like this. ❤  It’s an unexpected trip. I was asked just 2 weeks ago if I can come to Cornell and work on the software we’re developing, and now I’m already here. The trip was long, my tummy wasn’t feeling well during the plane rides but I am so glad to have a whole weekend of rest. *ehem* Staycation *ehem* XD

I am also thankful to experience snow for the first time.

Displaying P_20170319_024601_BF.jpg

All Glory to You, my good, good, Father in heaven ^_^

He speaks.

I was mindlessly surfing Instagram when a thought crossed my mind. I paused and my heart started to become heavy. I can’t remember what my prayer was, exactly, but it was a question of how to remain loving when I am so done.

I. Am. Done.  Dooooone, I tell you.

But I know that God does not want me to be that way, so I find myself often praying about it and asking Him over and over. Just. How? And then, I snapped back to reality and went back to browsing. To my surprise, when I scrolled down this was all over my huge monitor:

mrsbo
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQWi34MlZXm/

And so here I am, thinking of Love as Valentine’s day begins to approach. The kind that no one can fathom. The Love He has for me—the same love that He wants me to extend to others.

Not-so-emo Birthday

I have onced shared here how I usually felt during my birthdays. And this year, I actually followed my own advice and filed for a vacation leave on my birthday. 😀 That made a huge difference! If only I can thank my past self for such wisdom. 😛

I got up at 5am to join our daily worship time and took a bath 30 minutes after. My mind was set on leaving Elbi early so that I could spend the usual 2-hour ride home without hitting the rush-hour traffic. Mommy told me that  Daddy will be leaving at around 9 for work and I wanted to arrive before he leaves, so I was up and ready by 6am. But I didn’t leave as early as planned because I found Jessa cooking one of my favorite breakfasts and my hungry self wanted it so badly. 🙂

Fast forward, I got home and found my mom waiting for me and she gave me a big birthday hug. 😀 My dad got up a little while later and, after giving me a good morning kiss, went to the kitchen to cook spaghetti for me. 😀 Both of them even decided not to let my youngest brother go to school so that he could spend time with me on my birthday. I was really touched. That was all I wanted on my birthday–to be home. Come to think of it, maybe the reason why I was so emo on my previous birthdays is that I wasn’t home.

p_20170125_122914_ll
A blurry pic of my mom and I while lying down together on the sofa, making chikka XD

At around 1500h, I needed to leave and head back to elbi because I had stuff to do, deadlines to meet, and cellmates to spend my birthday with. But I left with a grateful heart because God allowed me to spend my morning with my family. ❤

Later that night, after our cell meeting (I’m a little sad that I wasn’t able to take a pic 😥 ), Mt. Sinai decided to throw a celebration for me with the Mt. Zion and Mt. Gerizim ladies 🙂 They prepared my usual go-to snacks and instant ulam…Fishball, kikiam, and kinchay-less lumpiang toge XD

16251087_10210716778210084_367742956_oP_20170125_212911.jpgp_20170125_203824_bfp_20170125_205122p_20170125_205526

Although I did have a point where I asked God for a timeout because I wanted to spend time with Him to unload a little, I was like “Lord, pwedeng saglit lang po? Pengeng time konti, iiyak lang po ako.”. For the most part I was happy. Happy to spend time with my family, Happy to receive letters and gifts from the people I love, and Happy to be under God’s love. 😀

Desires.

“I don’t really know what I want but I know God knows what I want. And so when I want what I want, I question why I want it. And then I wonder… “God is this what you want me to want? Because I’m wanting stuff right now and I really want it. But if you don’t want it, I don’t want it—I mean, I do want it… but I don’t want it if you don’t want it. Because you know what I should want. And if I want what you want, I’m gonna end up where I ultimately really want.”

-Judah Smith

San Jose, California (Part 1)

Part 1 — dahil di ko pa masyadong feel mag step-by-step / day-by-day narration so highlights muna. Presenting… ang mala-interview na mala-slumbook na entry as an intro to my trip :))

Describe your flight.

That’s a wonderful question! 🙂 ( Magpapanggap muna ako na hindi sakin galing yung tanong :))  ) Actually, during my trip from Manila to Narita, I found myself pausing whatever it was that I was watching every time one of the two male flight attendants who were assigned on our side of the plane passes by. I was really amused each time they spoke and I wanted to listen to them talk. :)) You see, they both looked really foreign–one of them was clearly Caucasian while the other one seemed Hispanic, but they were both really fluent in tagalog! And their accent was on point! I mean, if I weren’t looking at them, I would mistake them for pure-blooded pinoys! In fact, even when they spoke in English, they still have  this Filipino accent. No, not the “The fox” to “Da paks” stereotype but more like the tone or the way Filipinos speak. It’s pretty difficult to explain but anyway, I found it really amusing and I enjoyed watching them as they spoke. :))

Write a short memorable scene from your trip.

Of course, there are so many memorable things about this trip. It’s my most jam-packed trip so far. But the first thing that comes to mind is my conversations with Etheon 🙂

14355607_10208005132191007_7251950545918287980_n

He’s a very accomodating kid. I often find myself talking to him because he kept sharing his interest in games and he was also a very curious little boy. One time, He was choosing a character from one of his games when he mentioned one of my favorite characters–Nick Wilde from Zootopia. I then told him that I liked Nick… Here’s how our conversation went….

Etheon: Nick
Me: Oh! You mean Nick from Zootopia? I like Nick
Etheon: Why?
Me: Because he’s smart. (The first word on my mind was actually ‘sly’)
Etheon: He also knows everyone. Is that why you like him?
Me: …

I was speechless. For a moment there, I asked myself this question… Really, why do I like Nick? haha Nice one, Etheon, you made me reflect with your question :))

Describe you trip.

The love I’ve been receiving from my family is overwhelming! I saw how excited they were for me for being there and they were helpful and present the whole time. They also joyfully gave me a tour and welcomed me to their home as much as they could.

14344954_10208005119750696_5750833181816288247_n.jpg

What makes this different from your other trips so far?

I am all aloooooooone! :)) Well, during all of my plane flights, that is.  And it seems like I won’t be able to bring the usual amount of pasalubong that I take back to the Philippines because my family from California (more are flying in to meet me before I leave, btw.) are sending back stuff with me to bring to my family in the Philippines! Again, more love.

How about the hotel?

Well, I miss the cheery bright orange wall paper of my room back during my second stay in Ithaca. The motif in my room right now is a nice Dark Blue and Gray. Although… the plus side is this hotel offers rice for breakfast!!! 😀 So… yeah, rice wins! :))

So anyway, those are my first batch of update, if you have questions that you want me to blog about, just Ask. I might answer them :)) But for now, my laptop’s battery is around 7%. haha time to sleep :)) Ciao!

Day out with sir Jun

Sir Jun, our ex-officemate, came back to the Philippines with his lovely wife, Ma’am Teri, for a few days of vacation from their work in Mexico. They’re leaving again in a few days so Sir Jun decided to treat us out to tagaytay first before they do 😀

Our first stop was at Bag of Beans where we had pancakes and coffee ❤

14233596_10207917685964906_354856603_o

The place was really beautiful. There were eye-catching stuff everywhere that I ended up carrying and touring baby IJ around :))

14164149_10207917680404767_961008782_o

14215506_10207917677004682_1170012635_o

14233412_10207917679884754_1440083277_o

14191604_10155216044917782_1603533511_o
Photo by sir Jun 🙂  “Kunwari bahay mo” shot daw :))

 

Hanggang CR maganda XD

14233400_10207917686524920_1604635659_o

Then, we had bulalo for lunch at Leslie’s right after breakfast XD Partly, dahil tanghali na din kasi talaga nun and sinusulit namin yung araw… We were seated near a view of the taal lake 😀 Again, ang ganda nung place. Wala lang akong pictures dahil mejo mas nag-enjoy akong ilakad ulit si IJ na sobrang sipag umakyat at bumaba ng mga hagdan :)) 14203534_10207917673324590_1402963850_o

Pagkatapos nun, pumunta naman kami sa Festival Mall kung saan mejo napa-shopping ako sa JAPAN HOMES. Buti na lang dalawang oras lang kami dun :))

Mamimiss ko si sir Jun. It’s a little sad na wala na sya sa team nung nalipat ako sa department nila. Pero madalas ko din syang ma-encounter nun dahil madalas nya kaming sabayan pag lunch using his JAPAN HOMES dining “gadgets” :)) Hindi ko nga lang na-experience yung game nights and lunch outs nung kasama pa sya sa team… aww..

Blessings to him and Ma’am Teri 😀 Sa uulitin! :))

=======================
Here’s an unrelated point to ponder that I read from Reader’s Digest today :))

Louise E. Boone:

It is often argued that the people who will be affected by a major decision should be involved in it. Paul Kruger, president of the Transvaal in Southern Africa, once resolved a dispute between two brothers about a land inheritance they were to share. Kruger’s decision: let one brother divide the land, and let the other brother have first choice.

Waley lungs :)) Gusto ko lang i-share kasi natuwa ako nung nabasa ko :)) #wisdom