Every thought I have tonight is utterly heartbreaking. time check: 1:49am. I think this post is going to be long. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Point 1: THOUGHTS ABOUT BRYAN
Earlier today, during our zone’s church outreach at BRGY. MAAHAS, I had the privilege of joining Kuya Dags Barboza, Rosan Baldesancho and Angelie Manansala on their follow-up. Okay, so Here’s what happened, after angie and I prayed for an ate in the community, she suggested that we follow kuya Dags and Rosan since we can’t think of anyone else to visit. She was like, “But It’s far, gel..so we need to hurry” and I told her that It’s okay. Now, looking back I really wished I had thought of taking pictures of what I saw because the experience I had was very memorable.
It was raining and mud was everywhere when I followed angie to what seemed like a suicide route. We walked on a narrow slippery grass path in the middle of a field that made me rethink If I am going to continue following her or not. If I recall correctly, I was very reluctant at first and I kept stopping and yelling “ayoko na! let’s go back!” but she kept on going so I did too, I wasn’t about to leave her alone. We were very careful with our steps, especially angie because she was talking to her mom on the phone who was scolding her, “Bakit ka nasa bukid?”. I was laughing all the way (since angie kept on slipping) while seriously contemplating on whether I should just jump out of the grass path and walk barefoot on the rice field. But since there might be leeches, I didn’t. After the field path we reached the talahiban . the mud were thicker and the grass were really taller than me. I became very alert and my eyes were wide open and my senses were all heightened, my head turning at the slightest movement watching out for snakes. Good thing angie slipped a lot again and her foot kept on falling on mud puddles which made me laugh every now and then so it took away the tension. Anyway, I later found out that Rosan and kuya Dags took a different route, so we came at the location before they did. My initial thought was, how did Kuya Dags reach that house in the first place? I was so blessed by his life and I really felt God’s working to reach out to these people. When we finally reached the place, kuya Dags started to lead the Bible study with the head of the family and to the eldest son (I think),and it was then that I had the chance to actually observe the place.
There were chickens and ducks and ducklings and chopped wood (I assumed they used it for cooking) and there were soo many tall grass around us. The house was made of pinagtagpi-tagping kahoy at kawayan. Though I very badly wanted to rinse my feet since at the time it was itching because of the thick coating of mud that’s starting to dry up, I couldn’t bring myself to ask them for some water because I couldn’t even imagine how they get water in their place where there was no sign of plumbing. As I was looking around, I saw Bryan. He was a kid, about the age of my 3rd younger brother and he was standing near the cliff behind their house. It was not a neat stony cliff but a grassy, muddy, fall-down-a-swamp-like-river-and-who-knows-how-the-heck-you’re-gonna-get-out-if-you-slide-down type of cliff. I tried to picture out how they lived, being isolated in a snake-prone (and who knows what else?!) kind of surrounding, How they get to school (if they go to school) because either route was dangerous in soo many levels. I also began to ask questions in my mind: What’s it like if there’s a storm? or what’s it like at night? or how do they even manage to live in such a cramped house? I wanted to help. But how? I can’t give him money because that seems so condescending, plus, I didn’t have much with me, money is a short-term help, the family might interpret it in a wrong way, and I wanted to help in a long-term basis. I brainstormed and thought of the reason why we were there in the first place—that’s when I called Bryan.
I gestured at him to come to me then watched as the kid dropped the branch, of a seemingly dead tree, he was playing with to walk towards me. He stood beside me, an arm’s length away, and he seemed uncomfortable, he was swaying and was not looking at me directly.He was also silent but at least he felt obliged to answer my questions. I didn’t ask personal ones though I wanted to. I found out that they get water from an underground well (which I later found out to be a long walk from their house through the grassy paths), and that they did use the wood for cooking. Plus, I found out that they have had a couple of snake visits before, but thank God they’ve always managed to kill them before anyone was bit. Looking at him reminded me of my younger brothers at home. I asked him If he wanted to pray for something specifically because I will be praying for him, but he just politely said “none”. I started talking to him about God, gently reminded him that he can talk to God anytime and that God promised to answer our prayers. I encouraged him to pray until I heard Kuya Dags looking for me because It was time for us to go.
When we were taking the other route to leave the place and to trek back to civilization, I tried to make the experience light, complaining about the mud, mocking gie with all her bloopers, trying to watch out for snakes, etc. But all the while my heart was heavy with thoughts of the kid.
Right now, outside, It’s cold, It’s dark, and It’s raining. I can only imagine his situation, I can only try to picture out the discomfort, the fear, the uncertainty, the need. But to that kid, Bryan, It is his REALITY. But somehow, I am still thankful. I reached the place because God was using kuya Dags for the spiritual growth of those people. God obviously cares about them, and It’s what matters.
Point 2: My dear LOVES
My Loves=my Family. I miss them soo much. I don’t want to elaborate on this. It’s just that I have been listening to classic Disney soundtracks on youtube and it brings back so much childhood memories especially when I heard this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM4ITX_4qy0 *nostalgic*
Point 3: SP, oh SP.
Just the word Itself makes me wanna cry, fall-down on my knees and pray.
Where thoughts become visible. 